I don’t know where all of my time goes. I seriously have barely opened my computer since I last blogged. My reader is beyond clogged with everybody’s happy Christmas posting.

I read all of those vampire books. Just in case you haven’t read them. I urge you to steer clear. I should have known better, they were appalling, I really can’t see what people are going on about. I will do everything in my power to make sure that my daughters don’t read them. I can’t imagine a worse model for teen relationships than the one that’s presented in these books. So many things about them annoyed me, way too many elements to list here. Woefully written tripe, I say. Of course there was no need for me to read them all once I had discovered that the first one was awful – I know I have only myself to blame for that stupid little bit of obsessive behaviour. Take my advice though, spare yourself.

I have eaten (probably more than) my own weight in assorted choclates and biscuits and brownies after baking up a storm in the lead up to Christmas. We always over cater but this was beyond ridiculous.

I am always a bit shell-shocked at this time of year, it takes me at least until mid-January to register that it’s all over and there is no more planning to be done or presents to wrap or feasts to cook. I half expect another celebration to spring out from behind a bush and surprise me. It doesn’t help that Rhubarb’s birthday is on the 3rd of Jan. Do you have any idea how hard it is to think up presents to buy and muster up the energy to cook a special birthday meal and treats after the long haul of Christmas? Hard.

Anyway, I am planning on being a better, more consistent blogger next year and so I’m mounting a pre-emptive strike on blogging. See, I’m a planner, me.

Happy New Year everyone. Thank you to all those who have read and commented here this year. Blogging is such a joyous and rewarding part of my life, thanks to you.

I shall be having a leisurely meal with the kidlets and perhaps enjoying a glass of wine if I am lucky. I hope that someone out there is doing some hardcore partying in my stead.

See you in 2010.

Today, when I woke up, I got to go to the post office to collect this platter:

Here it is keeping my drac company.

Now my grainy Iphone photography does not do it justice, you can see a far better photo here.

Kim of Frogpondsrock tried to tell me that it might not be as lovely as I had imagined from her post. It is people, it is.

I even love the underside of it. I should have taken a photo but basically, it’s gorgeous.

There is actually no way that you can capture it’s beauty in a photo anyway, it is gloriously textural. It is a piece that needs to be held and touched and stroked.

I’m a little bit shocked that Kim gave it to me. She is extraordinarily talented and I can’t help feeling a tad unworthy of something that she has made.

Thank you Kim. I love it very, very much. I have put it in the hallway just outside my bedroom so that I may caress and admire it each time I walk past.

I bet you’re all wondering what we ended up doing with the devious Rhu.

Well. I have to say that we were pretty shaken up by his untrustworthy behaviour. We have always tried to extend a good deal of trust and respect to him and he has always proven himself worthy of that trust. Really, it was not what we expected from him.

His point was that had he asked us if he could take the afternoon off we would have said no. He has a point but I kind of feel that with only a few days left of school he should just suck it up. Also the next day was a presentation day that involved him spending all of 45 minutes at the school taking Beefcake through his work before being dismissed, it’s not exactly a strenuous week.

So, after he was found out he sobbed and begged and begged and sobbed and howled. He was keen for us to tell the school and not so much for us to tell the other kids’ parents. You see, poor little Rhu was terrified that his mates would be angry with him for giving them away. Quite frankly I knew which boys were involved without his confirmation and I explained to him that we felt we really had no choice as we would wish to be notified if the situation were reversed. We even tried to call both families that night but were unable to get a hold of them.

Now, in the end we were not so keen to talk to the school. They have an instant suspension policy for this type of truancy. Despite the fact that I think he needs to be punished I think suspension is disproportionate to the crime. Also, he really wasn’t fazed by it at all. He was happy to take the school’s consequences, it was his friends that really bothered him.

In the end I think that our calling had an impact. The boys involved told their parents themselves, I am guessing because they were frightened of what would happen if they found out from us.

We won’t be telling the school but we have removed a number of other privileges and social opportunities, which resulted in more wailing and gnashing of teeth so we are fairly sure we hit the mark with the punishments.

Thank you so much for your helpful advice and comments. My first instincts were definitely along the lines of the advice that most of you gave but in the end the way it panned out seems to be for the best.

Also!! And very excitingly, my ex-boss emailed me to say that she was happy for me to head out to the office and photocopy a bunch of reports and things that I wrote. I am so relieved. It will mean that the areas on the 70 point scale that I am really competent in will be easily demonstrated. Unfortunately the Christmas spend and a sudden influx of bills (like the power company who kept forgetting to bill us properly and then slugged us with a mega-bill due Dec 22nd – and a letter of apology for it’s lateness – wow awesome, that makes it all better, thanks!) means that I won’t be able to lodge my forms until January but the process wasn’t really going to get under way until then anyway if I’m being realistic so it doesn’t really matter I guess.

Also, I’m really nervous about going to the office tomorrow. I’m having all of those swirling, anxious thoughts that I get when I am doing something outside of my comfort zone. Like the office inhabitants will all rise up from their desks and encircle me so that they may poke me with sharp sticks and mock me as I lay on the floor whimpering into my flab.  Is that normal do you think or am I unusually pathetic?

Today Rhubarb forgot his bus ticket. He requires this ticket to take the bus from school to the city for after school rowing training. He texted us to let us know that he needed the bus ticket and we drove to the school to give it to him.

When he called I let him know that he would have to leave training promptly as we have Poss’ end of school year celebration concert tonight. He begged to be able to go to a friend’s house post-training and I agreed because having to attend a school social event with a teen who resents being there is even worse than having to attend said event in the first place.

When we got to the school he and a friend were waiting and Beefcake blurted out that, as it is the last week of school and rowing season is over until February, he didn’t have to go.

He was thrilled. I voiced my objections but was overruled.

There did seem to be a lot of sniggering from Rhubarb and his friend but they always seem to be sniggering or giggling or muttering so I didn’t worry too much about it.

So, we were not expecting to see Rhu until after the school concert tonight but at about 3:30 he strolls in the door.

“Oh, I caught the bus and then walked from D street” he says nonchalantly “Suchandsuch wasn’t home so we all decided to forget about it”.

Then he makes his first mistake. He volunteers a bunch of details about how his day went. Now, anyone with a teen or something even close will know that you’re lucky to get monosyllabic grunts (let alone voluntary details) straight after they get home from school.

Then Beefcake pointed out to him that he must have left school early to make it home by 3:30, D street is at least a 25 minute walk away.

At first there were denials. This was his downfall really. He’s always been a terrible liar. It’s clear for all to see, if you know our boy, when he is telling a whopper.

So I straight out asked him.

“You left school straight after we saw you, didn’t you? You wagged school!”

More denials but only briefly. He knew the game was up.

He and two other friends wagged half the day.

His perspective is that as it’s the last week it doesn’t matter. From an academic point of view he has a point. They are only doing fun activities all week. The school has informed us of this. Fine. From a moral point of view I am really peeved. I don’t agree with wagging school. I NEVER did it *snigger*.

I guess I am just shocked, he’s not yet fourteen.

So, internetz, what would you do?

I am leaning towards ringing the parents of the kids involved.

Beefcake is leaning towards ringing the school as well.

Rhubarb is leaning towards us handling the matter internally, afraid of what his mates will say if we dob them in.

What should we do? This parenting gig is HARD, seriously.

It really was the loveliest day.

No children all day.

Two meals out.

All that time alone.

And best of all….A long uninterrupted nap in the middle of the day.

Happy anniversary baby.

Six amazing years ago we walked down that aisle.

It only gets better each year.

I love you.

First of all, thank you so much everyone. Your lovely words made me feel so much better. That is the wonderful thing about this whole blogging community. People are just overwhelmingly supportive and kind and lovely. I feel very lucky to have such special friends reading my blog.

My face is very much improved. There are just a few faint red marks now, which is so hard to believe. You would never know that last Thursday morning I awoke to huge open weeping sores that looked as though they would never heal. At that point I couldn’t imagine getting away without scars but it seems that they will heal completely (Dr Google said that they would but they seriously looked so heinous that I just couldn’t believe it).

So, work preparation.

I knew that there would be a good deal of work involved in regaining my professional accreditation as it has been four-and-a-half years since I last worked. The standard for my profession states that I need to have worked at least 1000 hours in the past five years, which I might have had if I had initiated this process earlier but now do not. Also, as I only worked very briefly (about 6 months) before Pudding was giving my body such a thrashing that I was put on bed rest, it is unclear whether they will view my application as that of a new graduate (which actually means I had only three years for my qualification to remain current before I would need to do a lot of work to get it back). Complicated enough for you?

Anyway. I received the packet from the association yesterday containing all of the relevant forms. All that remains is for me to gather my “evidence” of skill and write a cv. This sounds much simpler than it is. The evidence part is a complete nightmare. They want a whole bunch of actual documents and things that I did when I was working and they each must be numbered and assigned to a relevant skill area. There are 70 skill areas for me to address. Luckily there is some overlap between skill areas and I can use the same piece of evidence for multiple areas. I also am not expected to have demonstrated competence in each area. I am able to use “inferred” competence in some areas. All in all though, it will be about as straight forward as bombing our house and then trying to glue the pieces back together with my own snot. I am tempted to just say to hell with it and apply to begin my degree again. Four more years at uni seem almost preferable to this process but I already have a massive HECS* debt so that rules that out.

No, truth be told I am actually really positive and optimistic about how this will go. I can put aside that the association woman responsible for re-entry was almost obstructive to my getting the process underway, which is odd as they charge a fortune for it. I am fortunate to have at least one very special uni friend who has been sending me lovely bolstering emails and has promised to go over my paperwork with a fine-tooth comb. She even threatened to come and pour wine down my throat if necessary so I think I am in good hands.

I have been very proactive. I have emailed my last boss because I need her help. When I left I was a bit consumed with dodgy pelvisness and just getting the loose ends tied up. It never occurred to me that I should be safe-guarding my future career prospects by keeping examples of all my work. I have emailed her and begged to be allowed to come to the office to photocopy some of my stuff. This sounds simple but again is fraught with difficulty that I can’t really discuss here without giving too much away. Suffice it to say that there is a good chance that she will say no and if she does she will be perfectly correct in doing so and I shall have no recourse but to submit my portfolio with evidence such as “See, I was working in this place then and they do this so I must have done it, so that makes me competent. The end.”. I’m sure that will be sufficient. Yes?

Okay.  What was the point I was driving for? Ah yes. I will be busy, I have actually got several blog posts planned and half written but I fear that the blog will remain quiet while I get all of this taken care of. 2010 submissions opened today and I really want it done as soon as humanly possible so I must focus.

Of course, now that I have said that you know what it means, don’t you? I will be on here blogging every day just to procrastinate. You must all promise to beat me soundly (in a non-bruising, internet based and loving sort of a way) should I try and weasle my way out of working. Agreed?

Good. I will hold you to it.

P.S. New iphone comes tomorrow (hopefully), yay, yay, yay!!

*Government student loan program – it gets deferred until you are working and then they take it automatically out of your pay with tax. It’s the debt you have when you’re not having a debt because you can almost forget it’s there, especially if you don’t actually earn any money to pay it back.