Well, I did it. I bought the handbag of my dreams. In my defense, the internets insisted that I do it. I had to purchase it from the designer in the end. I am waiting for it to arrive. Every time I think about it I feel a little glow of pleasure flush through me. I feel a little bit guilty and also, a little bit not. I usually have an aversion to spending large amounts of money on myself. This handbag cost more than my wedding dress when I married Beefcake. We didn’t really do a traditional white meringue and matching bridesmaids number.This bag though, it is too beautiful. I was having dreams about it. It is so out of character for me to buy something like this and yet I am okay with it. It helps that Beefcake is okay with it, in fact, he actively encouraged me to splurge.
It is true, I have not been in the best of moods of late. I have been suffering a lot with my pelvis. Chronic pain is very hard. It makes me grumpy. It makes me grumpy that the children think that I am lazy and that they roll their eyes when they are asked to lift or carry something for me. That they moan when they are asked to help out. Then I feel guilty because they are children. They have a right to expect a normal functional mother. I don’t expect them to see that every step that I take hurts, that to stand and cook their meals and to bend to lift a basket full of their washing causes me to wince with the pain. They are just children, egocentric and grouchy little pixies, they are.
So Beefcake knows that I am buying myself a little bit of pain relief, a little bit of happy indulgence. He knows I will treasure it. I don’t feel that guilty about the bag but I do feel guilty about making him feel he has to keep me happy. I don’t want to be the sadsack that he is trying to keep on an even keel. He said to me today that he remembers this time from when Pudding was small. He tells me it was very bad, I was in lots of pain then too but I did get better over time. I don’t remember being pain-free. My brain is not cooperative all of the time. He tells me I will get there again and in the meantime we can all manage. I wonder why he is so nice to me. It must be a bit of a bore to have a foul-tempered invalid for a wife.
I suppose he must love me a bit.
Hopefully the beauty will distract you from all that is bad and you can enjoy your luxurious purchase. Who needs pain relief when you have a beautiful bag?
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It will, I’m sure. It still hasn’t come though and I am getting quit impatient now!
I want to see the beautiful bag. Have you posted a pic of it previously that I’ve forgotten about? Sorry you’re in pain.
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Yes, in previous post. I will post a picture of me holding real-live bag when I have it though. I’m sure I won’t be able to resist.
You’re right, chronic pain really does affect every aspect of your life. I really hope you can find some relief. I feel for you.
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I never would have relaised how much it affects your mind, mood, everything. It’s all consuming at times.
sounds like beefcake is a keeper. but, i know what you mean, sometimes i wonder why the hubs puts up w/ me too. and, as moms, it’s ok to splurge on yourself sometimes (though i know that guilt too).
He’s alright. I think I shall keep him for the near future at least. I know, why do we feel guilty? Silly.
Absolutely.
I often wonder what Jason sees in me. I am older, wrinklier, come with baggage and two other children and am foul tempered, sleep deprived and emotionally unhinged. I spend money like water and am his polar opposite in almost everything.
It is normal to feel this way. He loves you just because you are the way you are. You don’t have to always understand it as long as you can accept it.
Great isn’t it?
It is rather lovely. We are lucky.
Enjoy that bag guilt free
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I will!
The man sounds like a keeper. I, on the other hand, am trying to figure out how to sneak a new handbag into the house and budget without Hubs cottoning on.
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Just say you’ve always had it. I have collected so many over the years I could probably get away with that! He’s a good man and vague to boot!
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